Dramatically Mundane – The Bus

This is the first in my Dramatically Mundane series of flash fiction.  In this series, I will make the mundane more interesting.  The main character is named John.  That’s as generic a name as you can get in the English language.  He’s meant to represent anyone.  Please note that I do not edit these vignettes.  I post them as I wrote them.  I’ll read it after I write it, but I won’t change it.  This is how a first draft would look from me.  Comments are always welcome and encouraged.  So please tell me what you thought.

The Bus

As he stepped on the bus, John glanced around the boxy vehicle. No one looked at him. Several people read books, some looked at their cell phones, a couple had a quiet conversation, and the rest looked outside through the slightly tinted windows.  John wanted to sit down in a seat in solitude.

He stepped forward on the floor, which was covered by a grooved rubber. He sensed the texture through the soles of his shoes as he shifted his weight from his heel to his toes. Each step propelled him forward to his ultimate destination. It waited for him somewhere in the cavernous bus.

There it was. That glorious seat. It was situated on his left, third row from the back in the elevated aft section of the bus. His heart quickened as he stepped up the lone step. He could anticipate the incredible relief he was about to experience.

John stopped at the seat and felt great joy at finding this structure that comforts and supports the human body in a seated position. He turned around and slowly slipped sideways into the seat. His knees bent and his body lowered gently onto the luxurious felt upholstery that covered his fantastic prize. His hand touched the seat and it gave him brief insight into the happiness he would experience.  Finally, his buttocks settled onto the surface of the bench-style seat, and he enjoyed an intense bliss through his entire body and mind.  He was at peace.

But then, a rather large, sweaty man sat next to him, spoiling his paradise.

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