What Will You Write? #1 – The Winner

Thank you to everyone who joined in the first What Will You Write?  It was a wonderful success, and there were a total of 10 entries.  I had a great time reading them all.  Please read the original post.

I must say that this was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make.  There were so many very high quality entries, and many were deserving to win.  There was a common theme in many of the entries, a twist at the end.  Some were quite humourous, and I found one of them quite touching.  Some looked like they could be expanded further with a longer story.  I had one in mind to win until I read the eventual winner.

Before I show you the winner, I’d just like to say why I chose this entry.  I think the main thing is that it has great potential for a much longer story.  It was a great start and it had me hooked.  That’s the thing, it was the one that made me want more.  Several of them made me want more, but this one just seemed like the best.  Congratulations!

The winning entry is Tracey Lynn Tobin’s story.  Here’s the full story:

Conrad opened his eyes to a view of a massive blue globe.  He jerked back and twisted around in the microgravity.  He touched something solid in front of him.  A window.

He pushed against the window and turned around.  Conrad scanned the small room, no larger than a public bathroom stall, and empty except for an EV spacesuit and door.  He studied the view through the window.  Neptune, he thought.  How did I get here?

His head was ringing, and his body was covered only by his boxer shorts and a loose white t-shirt. He tried to think back, but the last thing he could recall was sitting in that little coffee shop on Mars. Had he even finished his coffee? The memory was hazy, as though it had happened a lifetime ago.

“What happened to me?” he whispered to himself. He was surprised to find that his throat was hoarse and croaky…a sign of lack of use?

With few options available to him, Conrad reached for the spacesuit and manoeuvred himself into it. Even with the microgravity working with his body, he felt achy and weak. He didn’t want to think about it, but the evidence thus far caused him to believe that he must have been unconscious for quite some time. Or perhaps he had been drugged and the effects hadn’t worn off. Either way, he was concerned.

The door didn’t have a handle, but it slid open at his touch, moving as quietly as a baby’s breath. Conrad peeked out into a vast white hallway. It was silent as a grave, and empty save for the dozens of identical doors that lined both sides of it. The end of the hall nearest Conrad appeared to be a dead end. The opposite end was so far away that he couldn’t tell if there were any turns from here. All he could see were the doors. He thought there must have been a few hundred of them.

Tentatively, nervously, Conrad stepped out into the hallway. The door to his room slid shut behind him. He immediately began to shiver a bit. There was something truly frightening about this completely white hallway, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He almost reached for the door to his room, intending to return and hope that someone would come to him, but when he turned to it he noticed a tiny white placard on the wall next to the door. It was so small that he might never have seen it if it hadn’t been at exactly eye level. It blended into the wall, but the small black letters were what had caught his eye.

Conrad Skye
3 Counts of Premeditated Murder
Lifetime Sentence

Conrad felt his heart constrict. He reached out with a shaking hand to touch the words, praying to ever God that ever was that he was imagining what he saw. But no. He could feel the indentation of the words drilled into the placard.

“You’re new,” a gentle voice spoke. Conrad nearly jumped out of his skin. He whirled around and found the source of the voice. A girl – no older than 15 – was standing in the open doorway of her own room across the hall. She had been pretty once, Conrad thought, with her long blond hair and bright blue eyes. But her hair was hanging limp, and her eyes had very dark circles around them that gave her the appearance of having not slept in a very long time. “You’re new,” she repeated.

Conrad opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He stared at the girl, confused, upset, angry, before his eyes found the little placard next to her door.

Eliza Ratchford
5 Counts of Kidnapping and Child Endangerment
30 Year Sentence

Conrad’s eyes returned to meet Eliza’s. His mouth felt dry. “I didn’t do it,” he found himself saying. His hand seemed to move of its own accord to point at the placard with his name on it. “I didn’t do it,” he said again. “I never killed anyone.” He licked his lips. He felt as though he was listening to his own voice from a far away place. Surely this had to be a dream. “I’ve never even been in a fist fight,” he added, as though that meant something.

Eliza smiled a little, but her eyes were sad. “We’re all innocent here,” she told him. “But that doesn’t seem to mean much to the politicians whose crimes we’ve been chosen to pay for.”

Panic was setting in. All of a sudden a thousand images were flowing into Conrad’s mind. His wife and daughter, whom he’d left sleeping in bed when he decided to visit his favorite coffee shop. His sick father, who would be needing his medication soon. His mechanic job at the interplanetary travel agency, where his closest friends would be wondering where he’d gone. All the things he’d planned to do and not yet done. All the things he’d never known he wanted to do, but were suddenly filling his mind and body with desires.

“I can’t be here,” he croaked. “This isn’t right. I have a family, a life. I haven’t done anything wrong. I haven’t done anything wrong!” By now he was screaming, and all up and down the long, white hallway, other heads were starting to peek through their respective doors. Some of them had begun to walk toward Conrad, and it was making him feel like a small, trapped animal. He tried to back away, but Eliza had moved in front of him and had her hands on either side of his face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “But unless you think you can jump to Neptune from here, the life you left behind is over. Welcome to the Intergalactic Government’s robotic, automated prison for completely innocent scapegoats.”

Great work by everyone, and congratulations to our winner!

Here are the rest of the entries in order of submission.

Mark Morris – The first of several with plenty of humour.  I quite enjoyed the twist at the end.

Tara Southwell – The prompt was rewritten, but the result was incredible.  I really enjoyed this one.  It was a great submission I would say gets honourable mention.  Definitely read this one!

S. R. Carillo (Sierra) – Ah, here’s another one I want to know more about.  What happens next?  I really liked this.

C. K. Rich – For a first time writing sci-fi, I think she did a great job.  There was romance throw into this one.  Very nice job.

Tony Dingwell – Great twist at the end.  I should’ve seen it coming, but I didn’t. It got me.  I should expect the twists, considering how many stories had them.  Nice job.

Veronica Haunani Fitzhugh – This was very funny!  Great humour in this story.  Enjoyed it immensely.

Steven Erickson – This was pretty unexpected.  Plenty of sexual innuendo and humour.  And also another with a great twist.  Enjoyed it a lot.

Winter Bayne – The twist theme continues with this!  Although this one may be expected, I love how it was done.  Very enjoyable to read it.

Katie Robles – And our final entry had a big dilemma at the end.  I’m really interested in what his decision is.  Nice job.

I’d like to thank everyone who joined.  Later this week, I’ll have the second challenge up, and to give you a hint, it’s my other literary love.  You can probably correctly guess what it is.

On a final note, I’d like to recommend everyone to read all the entries.  You won’t regret it.  Some fun stories and great ideas.

13 thoughts on “What Will You Write? #1 – The Winner”

    1. Thanks. I hope to continue with more good prompts. I think what follows is what’s great. After the next 2, I’ll have some guest judges/prompt writers, I think.

        1. Mark certainly will. I’m addicted to these now.

          I thought the story you chose was a very worthy winner too, Jay Dee. My sincere congratulations to Tracey Lynn.

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