Buzzfeed posted a list called 58 Things That Annoy The Ever-Loving Shit Out Of Canadians, and I thought I’d see just how annoyed I am. Do they really annoy me? Let’s find out!
(disclaimer: These are copied from Buzzfeed, but this is being used under the Fair Use Clause, which states that content can be copied for commentary purposes. That is exactly what I’m doing. Anyone from Buzzfeed dispute this? Get in touch with me through my About page.)
When autocorrect refuses to accept that we spell it “colour,” “favourite,” etc.
Actually, mine has learned that’s how I spell it. No problem.
Forgetting your Shoppers Optimum card at home.
Nope. Don’t have one.
When you watch a show that’s supposed to take place in New York City and you can clearly see a Scotiabank in the background (looking at you, Suits).
Doesn’t annoy me at all. I know a lot of American shows are made in Canada.
When your favourite band announces they’re touring in Canada but they only perform in Toronto.
Meh. I don’t go to concerts.
Foreigners claiming we say “aboot.”
No doot aboot it. This one is annoying, eh? Honestly, we don’t say “aboot.” Really. I know what “aboot” sounds like, and it doesn’t sound like “about.”
Telling someone you’re from Canada and they immediately bring up Rob Ford.
Oddly enough, it’s come up here in Japan. Yes, news of Rob Ford has reached Japan! Doesn’t annoy me, though. I’m not from Toronto, anyway.
When a foreigner says they went to college and you can’t figure out if they actually mean college or if they mean university.
Yes! This especially happens when I’m talking to Americans. If they ask me what I studied in college, I tell them I went to university, not college.
Getting in line at Tim Horton’s behind three construction workers and you know you won’t be getting your order for another 45 minutes.
When the open tab on your Tim Hortons coffee rips off too much so the hole where your coffee comes out is way too big and you keep spilling on yourself.
Never happened. I don’t drink coffee.
When you ask for assorted Timbits and they don’t give you any chocolate ones.
Hasn’t happened, but I’d probably be annoyed.
When someone gets their bagel before you at Tim Hortons even though they ordered after you.
I just assume theirs was ready, while mine still had to be made.
When holiday commercials for Tim Hortons or Bell make you cry and you have to pretend to have allergies.
Having to drunkenly ask the bartender for the wifi password so that you don’t reach your painfully low data limit on your phone.
When most of the original Canadian TV shows are terrible.
I’ve enjoyed several Canadian TV shows, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.
When most of the original Canadian TV shows get cancelled.
Such as? I have no idea.
Watching the Super Bowl and the commercial breaks feature the same boring loop of Canadian ads every time instead of the awesome U.S. Super Bowl ads.
This is annoying. Or it would be if I watched the Super Bowl. Don’t like football.
People who don’t understand how bagged milk works.
We don’t have bagged milk in western Canada now. But I do remember it from the 1980s. And yes, I know how it works.
Being unable to find the milk bag opener and you have to use scissors instead.
Since we always bought cartons, this was never a problem. But I guess scissors are fine. No problem.
Living in Quebec and none of the national contests and giveaways include Quebec because of the province’s contest laws.
Does not apply to me.
Ordering poutine and it comes with shredded cheese instead of cheese curds.
Shoveling your driveway and it immediately snows again.
That would annoy anyone.
Hell yeah. It annoys me here in Japan, because that’s all we get when it snows.
Buying a nice pair of pants only for the cuffs to get destroyed with salt stains.
Edmonton doesn’t use salt. It uses sand.
Owning a cute pair of shoes but it’s winter so you have to wear winter boots, carrying your shoes in your bag and changing into them when you get to work.
Uh….cute? I don’t wear cute.
Buying winter boots and needing to factor in the cost of protective spray.
Never had to think about this. Why would I need protective spray?
When your sock slides down your foot deep inside of your boot.
Yes, very annoying.
When you accidentally step in snow with just a sock on after taking off your boots and you have to spend the rest of the day with a damp sock.
Haha. Yes, that is annoying, but I’ll tell you about something even worse. Stepping in what you think is snow with your shoes on, and it turns out it has ten centimetres of wet slush underneath. You go the entire day with not only a damp sock, but a damp shoe, too.
When you put your boots on the heat vent but they don’t dry in time for the next time you need to wear them.
Not a problem, but it’s happened with shoes, though.
Overheating in snow pants.
Yes, I hated that. Snow pants are such incredible heat traps. Can’t stand the sweat afterwards.
The anxiety of not being able to text back in the winter because you can’t take your hands out of their mittens.
Never had this happen, since I never had a cell phone in Canada.
Losing a single mitten.
That’s what the string is for! Well, for children, of course.
People who refer to toques as “beanies.”
Beanies…what the hell is a beanie? I just find that word absolutely silly.
Getting to work in the morning when it’s still dark, and leaving work after it gets dark.
One of the things I hate about Canadian winter.
That three-day stretch in March when it seems like spring has finally arrived, only for another snowstorm to hit.
Yes. And the same thing happens in April, and sometimes May.
The fact that we forget that it happens EVERY YEAR.
Of course. It’s easy to think that this year will be different.
Trying to open that little tab on the side of the Kraft Dinner box.
Never had an issue with that.
When your Kraft Dinner is slightly too runny.
It’s happened, but I never really complained about it.
Being unable to find anything good to watch on Canadian Netflix (and your runny Kraft Dinner is getting cold).
Never used Netflix.
When internet service providers claim that accessing U.S. Netflix is “theft” when it’s not.
See above. Never used Netflix.
When a Canadian gets famous and they don’t credit each individual Canadian for their success.
Why would they?
Discovering that your favourite beer is qualified as an “import” even though the brewery is, like, 10km away from your house.
Uh, don’t understand this one. I haven’t seen that happen.
When you order a rye and Coke in another country and they look at you weirdly.
I don’t drink that.
Ah, good old American water. Take away your Coors Light, Bud Light, and Miller Light. No thanks.
When the value of the Canadian dollar goes up, but Canadian prices don’t go down.
Yes! This is very annoying.
People who say Canadians want to be American.
Also very annoying. Actually, there’s a group in Alberta that says they want Alberta to become part of the US. No way! I refuse to become American, and I refuse to give up being Canadian, and I refuse to have to have a visa to live in my own damn hometown! You want to be American? Move there! Those people irritate the hell out of me.
People who ask if we get summer here.
Yup. Ignorance annoys me.
People who assume Canada doesn’t have beaches.
World’s longest coastline doesn’t have beaches? More ignorance. Canada has some great beaches!
When there are no free tables on the patio.
Okay, so a business gets busy. I look somewhere else. Or I eat inside.
When it gets too chilly to sit out on the patio.
Not annoying. Sorry.
People who say “soda” instead of “pop.”
I’ve grown used to it here in Japan.
Americans who call these Smarties (when they’re totally called Rockets and Smarties are a completely different thing) (for the picture you have to visit Buzzfeed’s page. Link at top!)
Yes, they’re Rockets, not Smarties. Smarties have chocolate in them, you silly Americans.
Picking up Swiss Chalet and getting all the way home only to discover that they forgot the Chalet sauce.
I’ve always eaten in the restaurant, not take out.
When some Canadians refer to lunch as “dinner” and you have no idea which meal they’re actually talking about.
That is confusing. I refuse to call lunch “dinner.”
When you have to explain the concept of loonies and toonies to foreigners.
Not annoying. I’m happy to do it, because I’m teaching them about Canada.
When we go to the States and we have to carefully look at each bill to see what it’s worth because all of their bills are the same colour, like, are you trying to bankrupt me?
Yes, American money. So boring and unoriginal.
When you go on vacation in the Caribbean in January and then you get back and you realize that although you’ve tasted freedom, you still have another two-and-a-half months of winter misery to slog through.
Yup. Well, this hasn’t happened to me, but I can understand the feeling.
When people call it Canadian Bacon when it’s just peameal bacon, guys.
Yes, another annoying one. No one in Canada calls it Canadian bacon. For one thing, it’s not common, so why is it called Canadian bacon? We always eat the much more common side bacon. Mmmm, crispy bacon. Maple smoked is wonderful!
Yes, he is annoying.
So, that’s about it. Not an impressive list. Really not impressed by it, although it has a few good ones. Most don’t even relate to my experience.
If you’re Canadian, do these things annoy you? How about non-Canadians? Any of it annoying? Or are there any things in this list that you have no clue what they are? Ask me in the comments!
And of course, check out Buzzfeed. They’ve got some very interesting and entertaining articles.